Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading

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(504): View more from Louisiana

today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please

Fav 26 6021 1053
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(913): View more from Kansas

I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach

Fav 5 814 1301
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"

Fav 5 1473 719
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(540): View more from Virginia

I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.

Fav 12 2139 674
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(806): View more from Texas

I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really

Fav 4 851 622
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(614): View more from Ohio

His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�

Fav 5 525 1168
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(415): View more from California

He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now

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(225): View more from Louisiana

So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up

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