Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize