I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
