I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
