I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
