i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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