it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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