Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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