im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
