Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?