what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?