Is that why you're texting me
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im so drunk with asians
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.