kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?