hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH