I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We need to get me chipped asap
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door