we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
