I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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