Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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