and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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