can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
