I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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