I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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