Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize