I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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