Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
