It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
