Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
