weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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