I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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