This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
