After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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