She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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