Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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