I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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