You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
