How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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