So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
