I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
