nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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