Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
