I think my vagina is haunted
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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