Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
3pm strippers are depressing
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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