dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize