So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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