i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize