Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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