How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
