I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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