already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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