Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
