i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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