Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize