in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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