It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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