just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
