may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
