Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize