tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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