Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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