Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
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Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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