A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No subtext here. People are naked.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize